I have nowhere else to put this

The short (and true) event that follows is both embarassing and disgusting, but I post it more at the risk of my own reputation than the stomach of anyone reading. There is a lesson to be learned, therefore it must be remembered. But, as there is no one of whom I can confide, it must be remembered here:

I sat on the toilet yesterday after a bowel movement, but a baby wipe was not within my grasp. Glancing around the room, and without wanting to stand up to check in the closet, I decided to check the cabinet beneath the sink to my immediate right. There were no baby wipes to be found there, so instead I settled for the next best thing: a household cleaner.

As I leaned toward the cabinet I felt the loose toilet seat slip out of its normal resting place on the bowl, falling into a new and unsteady position off the bowl in the direction I was leaning. My body's most precious and sensitive appendage touched the porcelain bowl where the loose seat previously laid as I sat up to rifle through the cabinet's contents.

Once I had selected the most environmentally friendly cleaner available I sat back down, and the plastic seat shifted back into its usual resting place on the bowl, pinching my appendage beneath it.

Had I been in any other postion, or of any other girth, I'd have been decapitated.

In my search for a solution I'd forgotten about God, and a small bruise began to form as a reminder of God's grace.

In other words, thank God for every little misfortune. Very frequently they are lessons that could have had far worse consequences.