Dear Abby,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years. He would literally do anything for me. He’s incredibly affectionate and supportive, and a lot of women would love to have someone like him.
My problem is we see the world through completely different eyes. I'm an artist. I want to go out and explore the world and do crazy things. He's more comfortable at home with video games and he's not comfortable mingling with crowds. He can be overprotective sometimes, and when I bring up my concerns about possibly breaking up, he doesn't take me seriously and says, "You do this every time you're upset."
We live together and are dependent both financially and emotionally. Honestly, I would like to stay with him, but I'm torn about what to do. Should I leave someone I should be grateful for in order to chase selfish dreams? Or should I stay and encourage him to change? -- CHASING MY DREAMS
Dear Chasing Your Dreams,
Your boyfriend isn’t going to change. If you can’t accept him the way he is, then it would be better for both of you to separate.
Normally I don't look at Abby/Amy/Carolyn's response until after I write and publish my own response. It keeps my answer pure. It keeps my answer....plermptian
The question might be a conventional one, but Abby's advice is the worst I've ever read. She doesn't address the issue at all. She is unfit to carry her mother's name with her lazy two sentences.
Dear Chasing Your Dreams,
People do change.
What you have yet to realize is that you are the one that is going to do the changing. You will lose interest in 'doing crazy things.' You will catch up to your boyfriend, and when you do, you won't want to regret leaving him for something silly and fleeting like 'artistic dreams.'
An art career is bullshit anyway. It will not support you. You can bartend/waitress alone while you attempt to 'make it', or you can have a stable boyfriend with a stable job to keep you afloat so you can network.
Stability is more rewarding and fulfilling than 'crazy things' because 'crazy things' is a phase that passes relatively quickly. People that commit to doing 'crazy things' usually die young and poor.
Unless your boyfriend is abusive/cheat/flake you should follow your dreams with him; he can support you emotionally and financially.
However, if you really think that you are better off following your dreams alone, then STOP BRINGING UP CONCERNS ABOUT BREAKING UP! Just do it. Break up. Stop pussyfooting around it.
It is undeserved rudeness to an otherwise innocent, good person. Talk to him about following your dreams responsibly, and see what he can offer you in support.
You are young, probably attractive girl, so it will be easier for you to find someone more compatible if you get involved in those art scenes. But expect disappointment in your art dreams. And don't sleep around.
