the sadism of schadenfreude

My friend and co-worker Terrell grew up in the city. He is 6’1” and has broad shoulders, yet he openly admits his dislike for bugs, the woods, darkness etc. I have seen his fears manifest in judicious caution. One summer, while working on a campground he refused to step off the road and into the brush for any reason. There could be snakes, ants, or poison oak. He wouldn’t walk a short trail through the woods in anything other than pants and ankle high boots.

He speaks with a plain authority about his cautionary measures, as if they are a common practice. I laugh because he can deadlift his own weight.

Terrell was recently half promoted, though we both still report to the same middle manager. Today our job took us to the a marina on the sound. The crew boat was ready to embark.

“I’m asking her if one of us should go on the boat,” he said. Terrell had on three layers and a hat, but worried that putting on his gloves might be much. Nobody else on the crew was wearing gloves. He didn’t want them to make fun of him in their minds.

“Is she asking one of us to go on the boat?” I tried to clarify. “Because I have no reason to go on that boat.”

And truthfully, neither did Terrell. There was no reason for our department to have any presence on the boat whatsoever.

But on this breezy and misty spring morning Terrell decided to step up into his newly invented position of specious responsibility and board the boat. And like an amateur, he believed that the scheduling of the day’s work would go as planned, and he would be back on shore in 2 hours for lunch. However, to use the light and beat the impending afternoon rainfall, the boat didn’t dock until all of the work was completed, stranding Terrell on the boat—without lunch—for 6 hours.

From the safety of the shore I took a picture of Terrell’s boat, a speck on the horizon, and texted it to a mutual friend with the caption, ‘Terrell has been stranded on this boat for the past 4 hours.’

“Ahhhhaaahahaha,” my friend replied. “That picture just made my day!”

I was nestled in the warmth of my car later that afternoon when the downpour began. I smiled and thought of Terrell still on the boat and felt a little sorry that he felt necessary to board it. But then the comic tragedy of Terrell’s choices deepened like the sound as the tide rose: was I enjoying his suffering?

Taking enjoyment from the pain and suffering of others is usually considered sadistic. But I don’t think that is what this was. I didn’t send Terrell out onto that boat with the self satisfaction in the knowledge that he would be suffering.

No, volunteer torturers are sadistic.

There was another college word to better describe my feelings in this moment: Schadenfreude.

Comedic elements don’t always line up in life quite as fluently as they do on TV. And when they do line up, they aren’t always comedic. Also kind of like TV.

Therefore when the miraculous misfortune of others is hilarious, it should be enjoyed with laughter. It is not evil to laugh at the truth, especially when it is funny. It is natural for laughter to be uncontrollable when the truth is that funny. Good cheer spreads with laughter. The more it spreads the more it can infect the unfortunate person.

I didn’t need to laugh that hard at Terrell. Just a chuckle and a say of thanks for not being stranded on the boat myself.

Laughing is an innocent pleasure. An innocent reaction. There is evil laughter at horrific tragedy, and that can border on sadism. Even uncontrollable laughter is not diabolic.

Unintentional comedy can inspire laughter, which is joyous.

Schadenfreude sounds wrong, but if the truth is funny, why not laugh?

And if laughter is satisfying, why not enjoy it?

The misfortune of others can be enjoyed innocently, within reason.

When I laughed, it was at Terrell’s circumstance, not his life. I didn’t feel envious or have low self esteem because Terrell foolishly stepped up and got on the boat. It would be ‘wrong’ Schadenfreude to be relieved that Terrell didn’t get that full promotion, and only a half promotion, so he would remain at my level despite working it for much longer. And it would be sadistic if I spread lies about his nonexistent drug problems to our middle and upper managers to keep him from being promoted.

I’m fine just laughing at the thought of him getting wet and grumpy and eating two desserts to make up for his decision.